I accidentally had phone sex last night
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
