Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
