i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The beer is more important than you right now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
