8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
