You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
