I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
