Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
