pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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