But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
