why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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