Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
