Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
