i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
