Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
