i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
