just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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