I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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