You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
