worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
