so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
