i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
