Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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