He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
