This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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