normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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