I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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