If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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