So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
