just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
