I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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