so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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