garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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