We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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