I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
