All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
