Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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