whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
