she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
