Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
