I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
