Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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