is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
