So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
