Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just gift wrapped bread.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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