I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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