butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
