I'm really into asian looking animals
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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