Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
