And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
