the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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