So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
