It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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