If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
